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o. [userpic]
Advice
at August 14th, 2014 (02:15 pm)

Hi everyone. I want to ask you all for advice because I need to know whether I'm out of line or not.

There is this weird, slightly culty, physical/mental therapy thing called the Grinberg method, which has become immensely popular in my city and particularly among lesbians. Basically, you lie nearly naked on a massage table like bed, while the practitioner massages your feet (sometimes painfully) and asks you about the things that bother you in your life.

A few years ago I gave it a try. When you start doing it, you have to fill out a questionnaire, which asks whether you're on any medication or not. I wrote that I'm on hormones for gender dysphoria. They proceeded to do a few sessions with me, but the practitioner raised the issue that they don't work with people taking external hormones, and she would have to ask her superiors whether it was fine or not. After 2 sessions, she got back to me and said that it wasn't okay, that it goes against the philosophy of what they are doing and that we would have to terminate working together. I felt and still feel discriminated against.

A year or so later, a trans friend of mine said that she had the exact same experience, with a different practitioner. And she too felt discriminated against and was really upset. Hearing that this happened to her as well, I too became very upset about this. Asking around, i discovered that a cis woman friend of mine, the one who recommended the treatment to me, is also on body altering hormones for a different medical issue, but is allowed to be treated. So to me, they discriminate against trans people.

When one of my best friends, who is a cis woman, started talking about going there, I told her everything I've written above. And she agreed that it was fucked up, understood how upset I am over it and even agreed to try and get a friend who is a reporter interested in the topic. I'm also a racial minority and I told her that if she goes there, it would be like if we went to a movie theater together, and they told me that I couldn't come in because I wasn't white, but she decides to go in anyway. And she said that idea "made her sad."

Time went by and last week she offhandedly told me that she'd been going to this place. And that has really devastated me. She says that they don't allow other people to be treated as well like postmenopausal women who are also on HRT. I told her the contradictory information that a cis friend of mine is on hormones but they let her go. We went back and forth about it for awhile. I went to far as to say that it feels like she's sitting in the front of the bus while I'm forced to sit in the back (something she feels is totally out of line, which it probably is, since I'm not black. But I DO feel that way.) Without any other good excuses for going she argued that "this is her body and it's her decision." I was already bawling, but this just felt like a huge stab to my heart and a decisive blow to our friendship. To try and make this a feminist issue, and that I'm on the side of being "anti-women," I feel is starting to ride the line of transphobia.

Now, I'm questioning our friendship of 2-3 years. While she has been moderately supportive of me and trans issues, this isn't the first time I've been hurt by her defending anti-trans stuff. She's argued with me about her right to use words that trigger me. I just don't feel like I'm completely respected by her. And right now I'm feeling very much on the side of ending our friendship.

I guess my question to those that are reading this is, what is your take on this? I am a very sensitive individual, but am I being too sensitive in this situation?

Shift and throttle [userpic]
Portland, Or Trans Resource inquiry
by Shift and throttle (dknash)
at August 8th, 2014 (02:41 pm)

Hi,

I just moved to portland and I'm looking for doctors, clinics, therapists for FTMs/ Trans.  I moved from boston and we had fenway health which I considered a one stop shop. Is there a place like this in portland?

Also, I dont have health insurance at the moment, I had public health insurance (mass health) in mass which helped out a lot. Hows public insurance in Oregon, do they cover trans routine health stuff?


Thanks a lot!

X-posted

Amy [userpic]
by Amy (caloris)
at August 8th, 2014 (10:24 pm)

Went to GP on Wednesday. When I showed him the name change paperwork and pointed to the reason comment he was quite “… really? … wow… Ok then.” Then spent about 40 mins trying to find someone to refer me to. ^^;; But he wouldn’t give me a letter needed for https://www.passports.gov.au/web/sexgenderapplicants.aspx#quest1 without seeing someone else as well. He doesn’t have any recent experience on the subject. :(
I finally heard back from http://genderrights.org.au/ with some local MD recommendations yesterday. After checking the locations, the clinic the GP referred to is closer and somewhat easier to get to.
I should call to make an appointment next week. Hopefully they have an opening for Wednesday after work. It appears to only be open 3 days/week, and 2 of those days aren’t good with work. Much easier to get away from work early with everything done on Wednesday then on Tuesday or Thursday.

Had planned to go to the BDM shopfront today to put in the name change paperwork, but it took a while for them to confirm I had enough documents for it that it was too late to get the bus out there before they’d close. Will have to see about leaving work early on Monday.

I’ve been talking to the area HR specialist over email, kinda anonymously, but if she thinks about what I’ve told her, she should be able to work out who I am (or at least cut it down to a handful of people). I was asking about putting a name change through the work systems, but keeping it confidential from people in the store until I was ready. Doesn’t appear like that will be possible though. :(

I really hope I can get what’s needed to get the passport sorted out. I have travel quotes on hold for my holiday pending passport renewal, and it seems quite silly to renew the passport with current details for a single trip, then change it next year. Looks like either way, I’m going to have to pay extra for the express passport processing, since it will have to be done in a hurry in early September.

Amy [userpic]
by Amy (caloris)
at July 27th, 2014 (05:31 pm)

So... almost 2 weeks ago, I printed out name change docs and left them on the printer (networked, attached to mum’s computer) on purpose when I went to work – expecting mum to read it and ask about it. One of the sections on the paperwork is “reason for change” (where I put “Preferred name. Have used socially for 10 years. Correcting name prior to correcting gender”.)

It took 2 days, but after I got home on the day after printing it, she asked about it. Said that she “wanted to talk about it” and didn’t seem impressed when I replied that I’d been talking to her about it for 20 years. She hadn’t been listening.



The topic hasn’t come up again since. However, they also haven’t (yet) called me by either name, which is a change from before the paperwork was seen. I also don’t want to talk to them about it. They’ve had more then enough chances to do so. Though I’m not fully sure how they’d react to a “this is what’s happening. Deal with it” situation.



I haven’t been able to find anyone specialized in this area locally, so I guess I go to my GP?





As for ID changes…

Gender corrections on a passport were made much easier years ago. Just need a letter from a doctor “certifying that you have had, or are receiving, appropriate clinical treatment”.

As for local government ID/birth certificate… They changed the rules earlier this year to now state “An application must be accompanied by a statutory declaration from a doctor or psychologist stating that you have received appropriate clinical treatment…”

I asked them what they mean by “have received” as there is a big difference between “have had, or are receiving” and “have received”. They never answered the question and don’t seem to have understood it. :/ (I will never understand the government department obsession with cut/paste text from website to answer questions when that text is what prompted the questions to be asked)

I’m only going to have a short window to get name and gender on ID corrected. I have a short overseas trip in just over 3 weeks (which I’ll have to use my current name for). My passport needs to be renewed in the ~6 weeks between that weekend away and my planned holiday (which I’d like the corrected stuff for).



As for work...

The main issue, the person who considered the entire concept of transgender to be something funny, left late last year. Others who appeared to have agreed with him are still there, but they seemed more to just be going along with the “joke”.

The other problem person, who repeatedly made up “nicknames” for people they didn’t like, finished his last shift a few hours ago. He’ll still be working nearby, but in a different area where we’ll rarely need to see either other.

Others have called me certain things I don’t like (eg, [surname], [wrong pronoun] [surname], [wrong pronoun] [current ‘legal’ name]), but they don’t know about the gender thing. I’ve told the person who did it most often not to use my surname or any pronouns.

There has been a regional level restructure and store managers have been getting moved around. We’ve had 3 relief store managers so far this year. The “official” manager has been there for 1 week since Christmas. He isn’t coming back, and we don’t know who we’re getting.

I have no idea how to approach the issue at work. I expect I’ll have to deal with it at some level when the name on my bank account changes and I’d need to update payroll.

Thinking about how people there are likely to react and some things the current relief store manager is pressuring people to do has been making me somewhat depressed. :/

mariexelaine [userpic]
by mariexelaine (mariexelaine)
at June 1st, 2014 (03:56 am)

I'm looking for some new silocon breast inlays. Affordable!
I bought some, maybe 4-5 years ago, they are ok, but the silicon is too hard , they really don't feel that natural.
I read about aphrodite, but they cost a fortune.
Which brand is really recommendable and does not cost 300$ and more the pair? (and ships to germany)

shaperepkwose [userpic]
On Political Correctness
by shaperepkwose (shaperepkwose)
at May 27th, 2014 (10:04 am)

Is it just me, or is it getting really hard to talk about being trans without getting shut down on the basis of "political correctness". I recently saw a great doc about Kate Bornstien, in which she said that she'd been accused numerous times of being transphobic because she identifies more as a "trannie" than as a woman, and for saying that she had opportunities in her youth, like attending a prestigious all-male college, that female-assigned-at-birth people rarely get. I've also heard trans men criticized for speaking about their own experiences of sexual assault, on the basis that, as men, they aren't actually affected by violence against female bodies. The same goes for straight trans women who talk about times when they were gay-bashed. I even saw a really great program that promoted physical activity for trans youth shut down on the basis that, "trans people don't identify with their bodies, and trying to get them to do so is transphobic."
I guess what I'm talking about is this message I keep hearing that trans women are exactly the same as cis women and that trans men are exactly the same as cis men, and that implying otherwise is transphobic. This makes it really difficult to discuss personal experiences of gender and, in my opinion, reinforces the gender binary which states that there is only one way to be a man, one way to be a woman, and it's the cis way. I don't want to have to efface all my experiences of being a woman in order to be a man. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being 100% one gender, that's just not for me. I'm getting tired of being in spaces with people (both cis and trans) who've already decided that they know THE trans experience, as if we haven't just scratched the surface of this dialogue. Even when folks say things that are a little ignorant/naive, I'd rather people have the space to make mistakes and make discoveries than just shut them down for not toeing the party line. Personally, the only thing I find truly offensive is someone else telling me what my own experiences are.

It just particularly struck me watching Auntie Kate, this amazing trail-blazing woman who had no choice but to figure out for herself what it meant to be trans, and who contributed so much towards what little rights and visibility we have today, being told off by a bunch of teenagers who think they have all the answers because they've taken Trans 101. It seems like one step forward, two steps back.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Kashidom Daheo Nenakh (Jenna Berry) [userpic]
What's really wrong with "Gender Politics" — a long read
by Kashidom Daheo Nenakh (Jenna Berry) (kashidom)
at May 7th, 2014 (08:56 pm)

http://kashidom.tumblr.com/post/84944670723/gender-politics

I wrote this up to express some of my current issues with how the gender community is seen and treated (and to explain to people why) ..it's a really, really long article, but I believe it was worth writing. Maybe it's worth reading?

Questions welcome!


Jen.

aaskew [userpic]
Signal boost
by aaskew (aaskew)
at April 25th, 2014 (09:33 pm)
Tags: ,

There's a 16 year old trans girl currently being held in an adult women's prison despite a lack of criminal charges. She has a long history of being abused by various caretakers, and got arrested for what's basically self-defense. She may potentially be transferred to an adult men's prison.

Details and a planned protest in NYC: https://www.facebook.com/events/273831792797983/

Petition to free her:
https://www.change.org/petitions/connecticut-department-of-children-and-families-free-the-16-year-old-transgender-girl-currently-incarcerated-in-an-adult-prison-without-criminal-charges

A little left of center [userpic]
Second Nature Wilderness Programs
by A little left of center (tau)
at April 20th, 2014 (09:29 pm)

My teenage son has a friend of a friend living in Boston who is beginning the male to female transition. When his parents found out about the transition, they quickly drove him down to Georgia to enroll him in the Second Nature Wilderness Program. They are in a hotel in Georgia right now, and he will be processed in tomorrow morning. Gabe is 16 years old.

Does Gabe have any rights to refuse treatment? Does he have any options? We would certainly open our home to him if it was that simple.

aaskew [userpic]
by aaskew (aaskew)
at April 14th, 2014 (11:25 pm)

Asking on behalf of a trans female friend - do any of you have suggestions for a good psychiatrist in Toronto who's great with trans stuff and also a Christian? Her mother is open to her transition, but is also pretty adamant about the Christian bit.

Thanks!

__________ [userpic]
Calling all people of trans experiences for a survey.
by __________ (lostcrumpet)
at April 10th, 2014 (02:19 pm)

Hi there,

Are you a person of trans experience? Let your voice be heard (and enter to win one of several $25 amazon gift cards)!!

We are a group of researchers from the Marginalization, Mental Health, and Empowerment Team and Columbia University. Our team is made up of LGBTQ folks and straight allies. We’re interested in learning more about your experiences of with marginalization and empowerment as a trans individual.

Click this link or copy/paste into your browser to participate: http://snurl.com/cutrans

aaskew [userpic]
Trans article on Cracked!
by aaskew (aaskew)
at March 21st, 2014 (10:17 pm)

"5 Shocking Realities of Being Transgender the Media Ignores"

Written by a trans woman and a guy of unknown transness.

Some inaccuracies regarding the DSM-V (IIRC, the gender dysphoria diagnosis only applies to trans people who have gender dysphoria, such that non-dysphoric individuals (e.g. those who are post-transition) no longer have it; also I think the recommended treatment is transition, even though some people naturally don't listen.)

But other than that, it's great. I especially love how there's almost been a million views of the page, and the comments - at least those I saw - were surprisingly positive. But I only saw about five, so it's possible that I just got lucky. To stay on the safe side, don't read comments.

Chasechik [userpic]
Familial (un)Acceptance
by Chasechik (chasingtides)
at March 15th, 2014 (02:50 pm)
Tags:

Cut because it's upsetting and personal that my parents aren't accepting / Also US politicsCollapse )

Any ideas for good books/workbooks/New England trans family resources, especially ones accessible by a couple of rich, angry Conservative Christians?

x-posted to ftm

steepholm [userpic]
General category to which 'cis' and 'trans' belong?
by steepholm (steepholm)
at February 24th, 2014 (09:12 am)
Tags:

Yesterday I was filling in yet another HR form that asked me to identify my Gender as either Male, Female or Transgender. This always gives me pause. My gender is female, and I also happen to be transgender, so which box do they want me to tick? More seriously, being trans simply isn't experienced by me as a gender at all (though mileages may vary) - so why is it listed as a gender category? But UK law seems addicted to this formulation, referring to "men, women and transsexual people" as if they were three different kinds of being - whereas to my mind this makes no more sense than saying men, women and gay people, or men, women and disabled people. At worst, it's pretty offensive; at best, it's a category error. (Of course, it also erases non-binary, genderfluid, etc. people, which is another kettle of fish.)

Anyway, this got me to wondering what, in an ideal world, the forms ought to be asking. (Or in a semi-ideal world - in an ideal one they wouldn't need the forms at all.) Male, female, genderfluid, etc. are examples of gender. Gay, straight and bi are examples of sexual orientation. Trans and cis are examples of... what? What is the general category to which trans and cis belong, as male and female belong to gender, or straight and bi to sexual orientation? There really ought to be a word (and not just so that it can be used on forms), but then "cissexual" itself isn't that old a word, so maybe there isn't yet.

On a slightly tangential subject, a friend just recommended Susan Kuklin's Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out, but noted that none of the teens in the book used the word 'cis' at all. Is that typical, or has its use really not spread beyond activist and academic circles?

Justin [userpic]
Transgender people have reproductive rights
by Justin (likethewatch)
at February 23rd, 2014 (11:04 am)

This comes as a surprise to many, both within and outside of the trans community. Two trans men who've had pregnancies, post-transition, are fighting for their rights to access to reproductive health care, and to maintain their legal genders in the process. My latest article for The Good Men Project, "The Reproductive Rights of Trans Men,"

chibifukurou [userpic]
Looking for recommendations of doctors
by chibifukurou (chibifukurou)
at February 17th, 2014 (07:59 pm)

Okay so I really need to schedule a doctor's and/or gyno visit. It has been five years. Since just before I figured out I was trans.

I was wondering i if anyone has some recommendations of a good doctor in southern coastal NC? I've found some leads in the Raleigh area but any suggestions for anybody a little further south would be amazing.

My insurance is BCBS.

lilywolfsolomon [userpic]
Spiro and sperm banking
by lilywolfsolomon (lilywolfsolomon)
at February 14th, 2014 (09:35 pm)

Hi everyone.

So, I started HRT (MTF) about six weeks ago. After about a month, thanks to a friend's recommendation, I realized I could bank sperm for a lot cheaper than I thought it would be. At that point I temporarily stopped with the spiro, in case my short time on HRT had reduced my count. I kept taking the estrogen. I'm expecting to bank my sperm early next week. I don't know if it's the effect of estrogen alone or what but in that time I've noticed my hair falling out like crazy. It's possible that it's the initial fallout before it regrows, but I don't know what's going on. Since hair loss was an issue a year ago before I started on finasteride, I'm sort of freaking out.

For psychological peace of mind, I really wanted to start on spiro again. I took it again today for the first time and I don't want to stop. So what I'm wondering is... can I safely go back on spiro now if I'm planning on banking my sperm very, very soon? Has anyone tried banking sperm at some point after starting HRT, or gotten a sperm count at some point after starting HRT? Spiro doesn't lower sperm count so immediately, does it? I know everyone's starting count is different... but will going back on spiro for several days significantly affect my sample? Thanks for your input!

aumentou [userpic]
Questioning Transphobia
by aumentou (aumentou)
at February 11th, 2014 (07:13 pm)

Has QT been hacked or something? It keeps having adverts as updates.

Confused [userpic]
Fallon Select Health Insurance
by Confused (cowhockey)
at February 10th, 2014 (06:21 pm)

Hi guys! My friend is looking for a doctor who takes Fallon Select Health Insurance. He lives in MA but is willing to travel. Does anyone know of doctors that take Fallon Select Health Insurance for Top Surgery. When he called the insurance, the person told him me needs codes. To get codes, he needs a surgeon.

Quinn [userpic]
LBG and Transgender Presentations
by Quinn (quinnypin)
at January 25th, 2014 (07:18 pm)

I'm presenting two sessions at the University of Chichester for social work students, one on LGB awareness and one on transgender awareness. I've got to fill 2.5 hours for each one. This is where I'm hoping you guys can help me. If you were sending a cis or straight friend to such a session, what would you like an awareness session to cover?

Thanks all!

Naturally estrogenated MTF
by cirhossis (cirhossis)
at January 5th, 2014 (11:58 pm)
contemplative

Mood: contemplative

I am wondering if there are any MTF out there who came to the 'change' without the aid of Hormonal Therapy.
I have only Spirolactone (5-1/2 months) , but that's all it took to start my journey.
And by what I have read, an accelerated journey. A journey which started upon waking from a near coma in the hospital 1st week of October, 3 months ago.
This Spirolactone was given to me to save my life, and for posterity's sake, the story is in my journal.
It would be a great comfort to hear of like experiences, for naturally estrogenated men and/or accelerated transformation stories.

didactic_cudgel [userpic]
Trans Awareness Project 2 Complete!
by didactic_cudgel (didactic_cudgel)
at November 30th, 2013 (04:52 pm)

I have been recording a video a day throughout the month of November for Transgender Awareness Month. I'm all done now, so I've embedded the whole playlist here instead. Some of these are pretty long, but many of them are short. The actual playlist link is: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=SPPuca_G-4mD1yOYHOXN95n-dHyLClH799



x-posted to bigender

All questions come from the 30-Day Transgender Challenge by TheMiserableMuse on DeviantArt.

Edited to fix embed code

didactic_cudgel [userpic]
My Transgender Awareness Month video project
by didactic_cudgel (didactic_cudgel)
at November 18th, 2013 (02:03 pm)
accomplished

Location: at home
Mood: accomplished

I have been recording a video a day throughout the month of November for Transgender Awareness Month. I'm up to 24, and since I've forgotten to post them here prior to now, I've tried embedding the playlist here instead. Which has the benefit of containing all of the updates from here til the end of the month! Check back each day! I'll update the "I'm up to ..." number until the end of the month, so you'll know when I've updated the playlist.



x-posted to bigender and my personal journal

All questions come from the 30-Day Transgender Challenge by TheMiserableMuse on DeviantArt.

L [userpic]
Renewing license in NJ
by L (skittlewolf)
at October 18th, 2013 (04:31 pm)

So, I got my license changed in MA from F to M no issue. However, I am back residing in NJ and I am worried about getting my license renewed. Most of my documents still have F on them (like the birth certificate I need to renew my license). The rest are all gender neutral (like my SS card), and my only document with an M is my old license. I'm terrified that when I go, because my birth certificate says F, they will switch my license again.

Help?

c_minor_scale [userpic]
by c_minor_scale (c_minor_scale)
at September 29th, 2013 (01:59 pm)

Hi everyone! I am a PhD student at The University of Technology, Sydney, and I am researching the online experiences of trans* people in a range of online spaces. At the moment, I'm looking at the relevance of Facebook ads and how they effect people's experience of Facebook. I'd like to invite anyone who's interested to participate in a short (online, anonymous) study that involves taking some screencaptures of the ads displaying on your Facebook and then filling out a short 5 minute survey.

We already know that people have mixed feelings towards ads on Facbeook, for example annoyance, confusion or indifference. What I am interested in looking at is how trans* people feel, particularly when the ads are incorrect. A simple example of incorrect advertising comes from my own Facebook. I am not stereotypically feminine, I don't wear dresses or enjoy makeup. However because my Facebook profile is set to female, I receive adverts of this type. I would like to hear what types of ads others receive, and what people think about the own ads on their pages.

I hope some people are interested in participating - if so please visit the study website for more info, or don't hesitate to drop me a line.

http://www.bewarethegeek.com

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